Summer

This blog has been silent lately, as you well may know.

Not because nothing is happening, but because life is happening at a speed that neatly typed words can’t capture.

Summer days are blurring rapidly into eachother in a steady race toward fall, and my flowers, wilted from the heat, testify that August truly is here.

Summer means I’m over halfway through my VS commitment, and I realize it feels like a long time ago that I packed up and moved here. I’ve lived every season in my new home, and God has filled my world abundantly.

I arrived here in the fall which seemed synonymous with all the goodbyes and endings that were part of leaving home.

I lived through the lonely winter months of trying to find my place in a new community, with so many friendly faces but the deep, heart connections were yet to be formed.

Spring came, and with it all the opportunities offered to me through new acquaintances – singing in a choir, teaching Bible classes at a city mission, leading a small group at a womens meeting… all creating a very fast paced lifestyle. I loved it.

Now, it’s summer. Life is in full bloom, but in an established, settled sort of way.

Work flows into evenings of doing laundry or sewing, and weekends of horseback riding and beach days and dress up tea parties.

There is never a lack of things to do, and I find myself adapting to the continual adventures of these people. Teach me to ride a horse? Sure. Hike a mountain? Tell me when. Go up in a small plane? I’m in! Target practice with your pink 22 this fall? That’s a stretch, but… Okay! Why not take the opportunity to learn random things? 🙂

Canoe races, late night campfire conversations, e-scootering, an impromptu visit to a historical library where I can find the stories of ancestors who lived in this area… I’m learning to seize the moments as they come.

I’m living like a tourist in my hometown, really.

And I wonder, how many hidden gems and missed adventures were there in the town I grew up in, that I missed seeking out, because it was just home?

This is home, now. But I’ve needed to explore it to discover it.

And maybe all of life is meant to be lived that way – as a hidden adventure, just waiting to be uncovered and enjoyed.

My mind drifts to the people who get me into all the adventures that sometimes leave me bruised and smiling for days.

Most of the friends in my world here were strangers a year ago, strangers that today, I can’t imagine life without.

I had to be vulnerable with every one of them, to open my heart and forge connections with new people.

Vulnerability can be in the simple things, like bravely accepting the supper invitation even if it means walking into someone’s home barefoot and sunburned. Staying home and hiding my very red face and feet until I can make a more perfect impression would have kept me from a great evening with a lovely family.

Vulnerability can feel bigger – I’ve had to learn to reach out and ask others for help. To humbly and honestly say, I need advice, someone to talk to… simply put, people to fill in the gaps of my family that’s 8 hours away.

While no one can replace my parents and siblings at home, the blessing of all my “family” here was definitely worth pursuing. (Even though some days I still would rather hide and do everything “all by myself.”)

I am very well taken care of by many lovely people, and it’s great to have others looking out for me. Through their example in reaching out to me, I’m also inspired to intentionally connect with humanity as a whole, not just my own family.

Life is full of adventures, but also ordinary days where I stay home.

I pick flowers and go for walks and enjoy the view… and thank God for it all.

Here in my summer season, there are still difficulties to navigate, questions to answer, and moments that stretch me more than I want. But there are so, so many blessings.

Maybe this post couldn’t capture all of them, but at least the essence of my cup running over…

In quiet strength, in simple joys, in everyday moments – I am blessed.

And I know without a hint of doubt, I serve a Good Father, Who was, is, and will be faithful in every season of life.

A Blessed Christmas

I’m sitting on my well worn grey sofa after another busy direct care shift, enjoying a few moments of solitude before I go to bed.

My heart is full tonight.

One week ago, I was homesick, wondering what Christmas alone would be like. At work that day, a visitor asked me “How will you like Christmas without your family?”

I blinked back the now-familiar ache of loneliness, and bravely replied, “I try not to over think it. I’m focusing on the real meaning of Christmas, and I’m looking forward to experiencing the Christmas God wants for me here.”

This adorable little lady who I never met before threw her arms around me, and exclaimed “Oh, you dear girl! You are so brave to be sacrificing your time in serving here. I will pray you have a blessed Christmas!”

I went home that night with a warm circle of hope running around my heart…

The next day, I went evangelizing in a train station with a few friends while a choir sang Christmas carols. I had the opportunity to share hope with others who have so much less than I do this Christmas. I have Jesus. He is everything I need.

But I’ve been amazed so often… He gives me so much more.

The choir invited me to join them for the ride home that evening, and old friends introduced me to new ones.

All weekend I was blessed to spend time with good people who I’m gradually getting to know.

And it was so rejuvenating. Exactly what I was needing.

I never realized until I moved to a new area, how hard it would be. How exhausting it is to build so many new relationships.

After visiting home and coming back here, I realized more than ever how much I left behind. If leaving the first time was hard, leaving again was harder…

But faith keeps on. Faith is believing that if God called me here, He has a place for me here.

Faith waits until that place feels comfortable. It takes time until these new relationships form. It takes patience and courage to keep going out and putting in the hard work of getting to know people.

Only now, as I’m settling in and seeing how God is bringing the details together, do I realize just how much of an uphill climb I’ve been on.

But tonight, I’m feeling purely blessed.

Yesterday morning my newly married friend asked me, “What are you doing today? I’m 10 minutes down the road. Can I stop in?”

So I baked cookies while she signed Christmas cards, and we caught up on all the things. It felt so normal, but I paused to thank God for the blessing of living so close to her now. (I mean, it’s still 3 hours, but we used to live in different countries… this feels like a gift!)

This morning I got a message from a friend who was a stranger 6 weeks ago… asking if she could do something with me or if I’m working tonight.

I’m not off this weekend, which she suspected, and her suggestion amazed me: “Can my friends and I come clean your house, then be there to hang out when you get off your shift?”

I had just accomplished all the cleaning, so they said they would wash my dishes instead, and stay until I get home from work.

One hour ago, 5 dear souls left my house. They not only washed my dishes, they brought oodles of snacks for my dorm sister and I… their generosity was incredible.

We had coffee and tea they had made – I had told them to help themselves to whatever they want before I get home, and I was so glad they did.

It’s little things like that that move friendships from “new acquaintances” to comfortable.

And that, I realized, is what I’ve been missing. My friendships at home were comfortable.

I need people to be that comfortable with here.

And God knows that. God has been working it all out, and bit by bit, these friendships have been forming, until suddenly I realize – I am finding my people.

My comfortable place.

My spot to belong here – for the season I’m called to stay.

And I smile as I remember the little lady who prayed for my Christmas to be blessed.

It has been… so blessed that joy is pooling in my eyes and making my chest ache.

How has Christmas alone been?

Thanks to the family of God, I don’t know.

My family and friends back home didn’t forget me. They sent flowers, texts, cards in the mail, and my parents are coming to visit on my day off next week.

And here? I have been amazed at all the people obeying God’s command to love and give. I am finding out for the first time how much support a VSer needs… and the faith it takes to trust God to provide those needs… and the humility needed to receive when others show up to meet the needs in ways I feel undeserving of.

Thank you is becoming a frequently used word – and it holds a ton of meaning.

Spending Christmas away from my family has been a new experience, but it’s been so good.

I can still turn on string lights and listen to Christmas music while baking cookies. I can bring the Christmas feels from home into my world here, drink hot chocolate after work and stay up late watching it snow.

Most importantly, I can worship the One Who brought the best Gift of Christmas, just like I have for years.

But my worship is richer and deeper this year because of the type of Christmas it’s been.

I am learning so much… being loved so well… and feeling so, incredibly blessed.

God is good.

So, so good.