Tag: Trust

Plunging into His Goodness

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“Mightier than the waves of the sea is His love for you.”

It’s Sunday afternoon, and I’m here for some solo time in “my” gazebo in my favourite little park in the world.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of travelling all over the state, catching up with various friends, and now I finally have time to sit and write.

Yesterday, two friends took me three hours south, to the beach. The surf was wild – wilder than we’d ever seen before.

The waves were a relentless fury of crashing water.

The wind was strong.

But the chaotic waves were irresistible by later in the morning, and we decided to test them.

They were too high to jump over.

You couldn’t float up and over, either, because they always broke over your head.

The force of the first ones we ran to meet nearly knocked us over.

Really, the only way to play in the surf was to either stand there getting hit in the chest with water, or dive straight through the waves.

It felt wrong, honestly.

It seemed like I should run for shore, and try to keep my balance as the force of each wave hit me.

To hold my breath and dive straight into a wall of crashing water seemed crazy.

But my heart was intrigued by the way others were confidently diving in, trusting the waves, and popping up on the other side.

I gave it a try…

The force of the first one knocked my hand off my nose and I came up with the taste of salt water in my mouth.

I did master it though; prepared for the force and holding on tight the next few dives went much better.

Later, my friend suggested, “Try just laying down under them.”

I watched her as the next wave came. She leaned forward, then lay down parallel to the wave as it broke over her back.

That was even easier than diving in. The waves never hit me, I never felt the power of the surging water, unless I reached above me to feel what was going on.

Laying down and being pushed by the current was the most gentle yet powerful ride.

And there, under the waves, my heart was learning profound things about trusting God’s goodness.

Unless we stayed in knee deep water, missing out on the experience of being in the ocean, the effort to stay standing in the water of the pounding surf was too much.

We had to keep bracing ourselves and keeping our knees locked.

But diving through the waves, laying down under them, totally yielding myself to their force… was much easier.

Under the waves, the water carried me. It rolled me in gently with the wave instead of catching me in the crashing water on the surface.

And what if God’s love is like that ocean? We often compare it to an ocean, because of how vast and endless His love is.

But what about the times His love doesn’t make sense?

Times when waves of emotion crash wildly on our heart, threatening to knock us down with each blow.

Exhausted, we fight to stay on our own two feet.

Desperate not to be knocked down and swept into the fury.

Confused and doubting how events can be part of God’s goodness, we resist stepping into the water.

What if, instead of trusting my own strength to hold me up, instead of holding back in the shallows, I could wade confidently out into the ocean and meet each wave?

What if I yield myself to the crashing water and lay down in this great expanse of love?

What if I immerse myself in it instead of fighting it, and trust God to carry me on the currents?

What if yielding to His goodness, even when it doesn’t make sense, would spare me the chaos on the surface? What if I could rest in the power of His love to roll me gently to shore?

It took a lot of holding my breath to swim this way.

It feels like holding a breath and taking a reckless plunge to just dive all in to the storms on life’s ocean, too.

Praise God, in the storms of our heart He is our life and breath.

It’s safe to lay down and let the waves wash over your soul, sweet friend.

It’s safe because God is in the ocean… His love is the current…

And He’s going to use every wave to take you gently to the place He wants you.

You only need to stop fighting, dive in, and trust Him.

“Do You Know Who You Are?”

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Summer has been a whirlwind so far, and here, nearly the end of July, I’m finally pausing to catch my breath.

I fully expected to be writing long blog posts processing all the changes in my life when school ended, but instead, I have had no words.

There have been all kinds of feels to feel, and no way to describe them.

Choosing to step out in faith and close the door to teaching after living in that role for six years…

Preparing to move hours away from home to start an exciting VS opportunity…

Enjoying every opportunity to spend with my family and church people and friends, because soon I won’t be seeing them as often for a season.

And now, here I am at the beach. With the besties. For three blissful days in a glamping dome.

Yesterday, trying to catch up, all of us used many words in an attempt to explain our lives to each other.

As I muddled through a description of my transition season, a calm voice asked me, “Do you still know who you are?”

Yes and no.

I know Whose I am.

And I know who I am, in Christ.

Redeemed. Chosen. Beloved.

But my role in my family, my church, my youth group, and as a teacher… those are all either lost or changing. Who am I going to be to the people currently around me, and who will I be to those who will share the next season with me?

I don’t know what that will all look like.

She nodded, satisfied.

“Whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it,” she reminded me.

And finally, I have something solid to grab hold of in all the shifting unknowns.

I followed God’s guidance to “lose my life,” or very much let go of the comfortable life I had.

Jesus promised that if we do this, if we lay down our plans for His, we will find life.

He’s not going to leave me uprooted forever. There is a beautiful planting ahead for me where I will put roots down again and thrive.

And last night, as I lay cross wise in a king size bed, sandwiched between two awesome friends who make this crazy life a whole lot easier, I smiled up at the plastic dome overhead.

Right then, I knew where I belonged.

In the middle of everything that is changing, I have Jesus to walk with me. He is going to fill my life in the next season.

I will always belong with my family and friends, near or far.

And knowing my place with my friends is especially easy when they’re so near that rolling over is impossible without waking somebody up.

I’m smiling out at the clear blue water that will soon lose its tranquility when we go splashing in.

I do believe, time at the beach is good for my heart.

On Renovations and Faith

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I’ve been wanting to turn this into a blog post for several days, but I’ve been too busy to get my swirling thoughts typed here.

However, as I spun my cake decorators’ turntable this afternoon, and angled my tools to create the desired look, I had time to think and reflect… now the cakes are done so I can exhale, relax, and write what’s been on my heart.

Last weekend was 6 months since I first walked into the church that now feels like home… barely knowing anyone, and completely terrified, but somehow convinced this was the right thing to do.

You know, I had no idea then just how much good would come from asking God for the courage to step out in faith.

I reflected on that last week, and praised God for His faithfulness in guiding me, but didn’t really have a blog post in mind.

Until Friday evening, when my youth group and a few of our church people were … well, quite literally, tearing apart the church basement.

There are some renovations needed, and as plans were made, the list grew.

So, on the last day of school, teachers and students emptied the classrooms completely, in preparation for the work bee that evening. By midnight, all the shelves were gone, trim had disappeared, insulation was removed, some sections of wall were only bare frames, lights were being rewired, and old drywall was removed. Not to mention the endless sweeping, and all the plastic we girls taped up to protect surfaces from the spray painting that will be done.

It really wasn’t recognizable as the school that it had been that morning, and I asked one student who had come with his dad for the evening, “Can you believe the last day of school was in here today?”

His answer was profound, as children so often are without realizing it.

“Well, it feels strange. I thought it would be exciting to tear our classrooms apart, and it is, but…”

“But it’s sad to tear up the place where go many good memories were just made?” I asked.

“Well, kind of, yeah… and it’s so empty. It doesn’t even feel like our school, and it’s just so odd!”

I assured him that by September, they’ll be ready to have lots of good times in a classroom that will feel “new” after all the renovations are complete.

His eyes sparkled with anticipation at that thought and he said, “that’s right! I can’t wait! I hope it’ll look really nice.”

Then, more pensive, he added, “At least, I think it will… it’s hard to imagine right now though while it’s such a mess.”

I reminded him of the things that will be improved and redone, and his enthusiasm returned. “Yeah! I think it’ll look real nice when it’s all done,” and he hurried off to see what else he could do. Destroying classrooms is an adventure, after all!

And I, sweeping up the constant piles of dust and debris, thought about our conversation.

6 months ago, I knew my life didn’t totally fit me… but it was all I knew. It was familiar and comfortable.

Yet I couldn’t stay there. I needed to move on, and I knew it was time. But I couldn’t reach for the new without stepping out of the old.

You know, I was incredibly afraid of walking into a new church and hoping to find it home.

It felt like I was laying down so much – risking relationships with all the people I’d known and love, for relationships I didn’t know if I’d ever build.

But God proved faithful to work it all out for me, and I’ve been able to make many beautiful new friendships as well as keep the familiar old ones.

And, the layout of my life is different.

It doesn’t look like the life I was so familiar with and afraid to leave behind a few months ago. But some things from before are still in their places, and everything is brighter and nicer than ever.

Sometimes, adding to your life means giving every part to God first, so He can remove what’s not needed and return what is still valuable to its place in your life.

By letting God empty you out, you allow Him to work and reconstruct you according to His perfect blueprint.

So, to the one reading this: this is my encouragement for you. If your life feels torn apart, upside down, or totally empty right now, and you wish for the familiar sights of before… keep trusting the Master Architect.

The renovating process takes faith in the end result, patience, and a lot of trust that things are going to end up better, even while they’re visibly being torn apart.

But remind yourself of this truth: God will not ask you to lay something down without putting something more beautiful in its place.

So trust Him, doubting heart.

By what He has done in my life, and for countless others out of unknown circumstances, I truly can say that His renovations are never without a purpose.

And I think your life will look real nice when He’s all done.

The Importance of Following Bunny Trails

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If you have ever sat in my class, you may have noticed I am a “bunny trails teacher.”

I’ve tried to curb the habit, because obviously we have routines to keep, deadlines to meet, assignments to complete.

But in the years I’ve taught, I’ve quietly told myself that some bunny trails are important. Sometimes, answering that off-topic question will mean more to them in life than if we finish the math lesson today or tomorrow.

It’s not something I’ve actually spent much time intentionally thinking about, until yesterday. I was chatting with some upper grade girls at lunch, who were discussing various teaching styles. (They notice more than I used to realize!)

“You follow bunny trails a little more than some, I remember,” was the calm declaration from one of them. “But personally, I liked that.”

I laughed and replied that I try to only follow the important bunny trails, but yes, I do tend to travel them quite easily.

“Important bunny trails? How can they be important when they’re distracting from the schedule?” This from a well self-disciplined girl.

We talked about important questions, life lessons, etc that may not be in the curriculum, but are totally worth taking time for.

How in life, we sometimes take bunny trails as well, walking paths that feel like detours but take us to places we’d have missed out on otherwise.

They weren’t totally convinced. “Have you ever taken a risk or a detour that got you something you would’ve missed out on otherwise?”

If they only knew… children can’t fully understand. But I told them how I went to a teacher’s conference all by myself, how I was planning to go to my hotel pretty early that evening because I didn’t know anyone there and I was tired.

When an old friend suggested I go meet her sister, I thought about waiting until the next day and sticking to my current plan: going to my hotel. But I had gone there determined to let things flow, and take opportunities to connect with people, so I went to introduce myself to a stranger.

It was a small detour from my schedule, but that encounter is how I first connected with the girl who is now more of a sister than a friend. I could have missed the blessing of having a praying bestie in my life, if I hadn’t taken the opportunity to meet her.

There are so many more examples in the last year… opportunities that came up which I could have ignored, because they really didn’t fit into the path I was trying to stick to.

But by making space in my life to explore the random bends in the road, I arrived where I am today.

Stopping to talk with people. Accepting unexpected invitations. Daring to step out in faith.

Yes, we need a routine and a plan! But since God’s ways are higher than ours, we need to be aware that He might be nudging us on a different path than we’ve chosen to walk. Or He wants to add people, places, and memories to our lives to make the journey more beautiful when we return to the original path.

So go to that conference. Hang out with an old friend. Take a short missions trip.

Deviating from the everyday occasionally, if it’s done seeking God’s blessing & guidance, can be the key to personal enrichment.

Maybe God has hidden treasures to add to your life – but they’re meant for you to discover.

Maybe, they are the reward for faithfully stepping out of your way to follow Him.

I do hope those girls remember our little chat about bunny trails.

I hope they grow up to become women of God, committed to walking the path He calls them to.

And I hope that if He gives them the opportunity to pursue what feels like a bunny trail sometimes, that they will have enough faith to explore, even if it doesn’t seem to fit the mold they’ve gotten used to.

I hope they will have courage to walk the paths that lead them to places of blessing they could never have imagined themselves.

Why Did I Come Here?

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From the moment she looked me in the eyes and asked, ‘How are things going?” I knew we’d connect.

We had never met before, but known of each other for years. Our moms are distantly friends… I hung out with her sister for a weekend in New York back in my teens… and now here we met, our of the blue, at a teachers conference hours away from both our homes.

It’s nice to know why I came.

After all, driving 5 hours by myself to a destination where I knew nobody, I had plenty of time to question whatever inspired me to do this.

I mean, I knew all along it wasn’t about the conference. I heard this speaker just a year ago, presenting the same topic, with an identical slideshow and handouts.

It was a thinly veiled excuse for a solo road trip, to embrace a love of solitude again – something I’ve avoided for too long.

Being alone doesn’t have to be a negative thing, and I know that, but sometimes we need to conquer our fears in an exciting way.

So, I planned this trip as a way to intentionally create solitude – not being lonely, but having time alone with God.

So often, when I’m alone is when hard things get harder. Problems seem greater, and tears flow freer because it feels like I’m alone in my pain.

To avoid those feelings, for too long I tended to avoid being alone.

But I knew it’s time to reshape my view of that, and I’m so grateful God provided this teachers conference as a reason for this trip – not only did He give me the opportunity, He gave me a valid explanation.

No one expects to hear “I’m driving 5 hours to practice enjoying solitude.” But attending a conference? That sounds sensible. And I do love bits of sensibility in a chaotic world!

But as I got closer to my destination, I realized I had a slight flaw in my weekend.

The solitude was going great, I was embracing my independence, and loving the fact that only God knew exactly where on the globe I was at any given moment.

But I had this slight problem of a conference to attend, where I knew no one, and the content was all familiar to me.

I did ask God why He prompted me so clearly that I had to be at this conference, if it had no purpose in the trip other than an explanation. That’s an expensive ticket to pay for a simple explanation, you know.

But God has a plan in all things, as I am continually learning. And the first session hadn’t been over long when I met the reason I had come.

Isn’t it amazing how God places people in the right location at the right time, having prepared their hearts in advance to connect?

We were strangers yesterday – tonight we had a sleepover (yes, my hotel room had an extra bed for some reason, and God knew it would be needed!) We connected, heart to heart, and it was worth every hour of lost sleep.

My life has been a desert, thirsty for this type of friend, and God brought me here to water that need.

Even if we don’t meet up again for awhile, I will always value the miraculous way God arranged our meeting.

When He wants people in my life, He will place me where I need to be to find them.

And if I needed to be five hours away from home for that message to be clear to me, all I can say is – it was certainly worth the drive.

The opportunity to be a tourist in a quaint, sleepy town, and visit cute cafes, is such a rejuvenating gift🤍

Riding Today’s Wave

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Ah, relaxation.

Late afternoon sunlight streams in the large windows of the community center lounge, a neat stack of graded Bible quizzes lies on the table in front of me, and I still have 20 minutes to just sit here.

Scrolling on my phone, I came across this quote someone posted:

“Healing comes in waves. Today the wave might hit the rocks, but you’re still healing.”

A smile played on my lips as the words washed over my heart – that quote is the best description I’ve heard for those days when all the progress I’ve made seems shattered.

But I feel this precious joy swelling in my chest, because today, that wave is flowing smoothly back out.

Away from the painful crashing into the rocks, into a vast expanse of possibilities.

I never imagined, one year ago, where I’d be today or all that I’d walk through to get here.

I also don’t know where I’ll be in one short year from now, but I’m so grateful to be able to say, I’m excited about the future.

I’m ready… to step forward.

I don’t know which of the opportunities ahead of me I’ll actually pursue, but it’s thrilling to see God’s hand working in my life, healing my heart, and filling me with the capacity to dream again.

The sunlight is fading lower in the sky, but I feel a new day dawning in my life as I enjoy the ride of today’s wave, away from the confining shallows along the shore.

It’s time to travel farther out to sea… deeper into this adventure called life, sailing with greater abandon toward everything God has for me.

It’s a divine risk, giving my life completely into the hands of One Who can lead me in paths beyond my wildest imagination, but I know that His way always includes enough of His strength, grace, and courage for every part of the journey.

So I choose, once again, to say, “Jesus, I trust You. Please, lead me forward in the fullness of Your abundant living.”

Today’s wave rides toward potential joy; tomorrow the ride might carry me back in to be broken on the rocks again. I’m slowly understanding that we must be broken repeatedly so that Jesus within us can continue to pour out of our cracked and bleeding vessels…

But through it all, I know each of these waves are part of the process Jesus is taking me through, and none of it goes unnoticed by Him.

Right now, this moment, Miss Ginger Curls is nearly finished her class and will be demanding me to make good on the promised trip to the park.

My arms are still tired from her fight-mode reaction earlier and the drama of getting into the elevator (with four compassionate but amused onlookers, yes) but my heart loves her more than ever.

How is it that this unlikely rule is manifesting in so many areas of my life… that the bad times ignite multiplied goodness?

Only God Alone can work in this incredible way!

Likewise, even though my heart is bruised anew each time I’m washed up on the rocks, I ride the waves with increased confidence and joy… because I know they ultimately lead in the direction I want to go.

“Healing comes in waves…” and progress is made not by fighting them, but by surrendering to their direction of flow and riding each one to its fullest extent.

So no matter what tries to drag me down, I know one thing for certain: I can always press onward and upward if I keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

That’s all that’s required of me every moment, simply to focus on Him and let everything else fade…

“Father God, just for today… Help me to walk Your narrow way. Help me stand when I might fall, give me the strength to do Your call… May my steps be worship, may my thoughts be praise, may my words bring honour to Your Name…”

and here comes my favourite feisty bundle of fragile brokenness. Time to stop writing and pour my joy over into her little life!

“I Want to Go Across”

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Surrounded by the playful shouts of running children, standing in the sunshine on the school playground, I inhaled slowly.

Exhaled.

Willed myself to forget my exhaustion and inner pain, and focus on the idyllic scene all around me.

Pain doesn’t disappear at command, apparently.

But joy can be sought and found, which I have discovered to be an effective method in getting through difficult times.

So once again, I determined to shift the focus from coping with these emotions, to seeking a reason to smile.

(Sometimes, we do have to walk through the messiness in our hearts. But there are times and places, like at school when you’re the teacher, that you need to be able to effectively distract yourself so that you can function well in your role.)

I turned slowly and took in everything… the area filled with running children, the delighted shrieks and giggles coming from the swings, the little boys so intensely committed to their baseball game…

Amid all the action, I noticed a child standing not far behind me.

All by herself, a post of the playground nearly hid her from my sight.

I stepped toward her, and the wispy, blonde ponytailed head peeked out.

Blue eyes held my gaze with a reproachful stare.

“How’s your day in kindergarten been so far?” I began.

“Good!” She replied instantly.

Hmmm. Okay, but she’s not playing with the others and doesn’t look too happy about something… I decided to try another tactic.

“Would you like to play with the others?”

Very sweetly, but with 5 year old confidence, she answered in the negative.

“Are you enjoying your recess, just relaxing here?”

“No.”

O-Kay! This time, her negative answer held an accusing tone.

“I’m sorry to hear that – can you tell me why?”

Again, Miss Tiny’s confident voice sounded accusing. A little arm stretched up and pointed at the swinging rings on the playset as she declared, “I want to go across.”

“I’ve been waiting,” she added. “And no one came to help me.”

I patiently apologized, assured her I would be glad to help, now that I knew she wanted to go across.

In my mind, I thought, “And this is why I’m not a kindergarten teacher. Like – how long would she have waited if I hadn’t seen her there? Here I’m feeling terrible for not noticing sooner, yet she could have told me!”

As she beamed down at me while I guided her from one ring to the next, I was still exasperated and amused inside. May God bless all kindergarten teachers with wisdom to read the minds of their students… and understand without being told when they “want to go across.”

Suddenly, it was like God turned the lights on and revealed the purpose for this little exchange. Just like that, I saw myself.

Timidly standing at the bottom of the steep mountain range, stubbornly refusing to ask anyone for help.

Just waiting.

Wondering where God is, and when He’s going to show up to help me navigate this.

Sure, He knows what I need and can read my thoughts before I tell Him. But even when I can predict what a student needs by the desparate jabbing of their hand in the air, I still appreciate when they use their communication skills to tell me. Does God not desire me to do the same?

His Father-Heart wants connection with me, and that is formed when I speak to Him in prayer.

He desires my expression of trust in coming to Him and saying, “I can’t do this alone… I need Your help.”

He loves when I acknowledge Him for Who He is, and admit that I’m at the end of myself.

I set the little girl safely on the platform after helping her across, and as she runs off to play, I smile at the retreating ponytail that bounces with her steps.

A little child shall lead them…

I returned to the place I stood before, no longer hugging myself so tightly as if trying to hold my fragile heart together.

It’s time to stop staring at the mountain and wondering how to get over it.

I’m done pacing in circles at the foot of it, asking why God hasn’t taken it away.

That simple exchange at recess was designed by a Divine Hand to show me what I need to do…

I stretched out my hands and whispered,

“God, I want to go across.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell You sooner, and that I just kept asking You why You haven’t come to go up the mountain with me. You’ve been here waiting to start the climb, just patiently waiting until I humble myself to acknowledge my need.

So here I am now, God. I know I’m too weak to climb this by myself. Will You help me?

I want to go across.”

Before Morning Comes

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If you’ve ever spent the wee hours in wakefulness, this one is for you.

Yes, you, the one tossing and turning, wishing to sleep, or wishing for the night to be over, longing for morning to come and end this fight for rest…

Join me. I’m awake, too. And so is God.

Typically, I’m blessed with the gift of sleep… but I have had enough times where I’m unable to sleep that I definitely cherish a good night’s rest as a gift.

I’m on a personal journey right now of learning to look for the good in each moment God allows in my life. His will for us is His gift to us, and I am determined to discover the hidden blessing even in the challenges. However, nights of waking up at 1 or 2 am throw a decent curveball into that ambition…

Exciting as it was to stay up late at sleepovers when we were kids, we all know that unwanted wakefulness through the wee hours is no fun.

When your mind is exhausted, the sun is long gone from view, and you stare into the darkness, longing for morning… any problems you have become larger, and you might even start to imagine problems you don’t have.

This is real.

Satan loves to tempt us when we’re alone and exhausted.

Do you dread those night hours? Do you fear the battle, when the hours slip by painstakingly slow, and you can do nothing but endure?

While you’re waiting for the morning to come, rest in these truths.

You are never alone. God never sleeps and He is with you.

Morning will come. It seems to take forever, but every moment, it is closer.

Sleeplessness is a gift.

Wait. What?! Yes, dear friend, you read that correctly. It doesn’t feel like a gift, especially not at 5 am when you’re blogging to pass the time, wondering how to survive the next day that is now alarmingly close…

But God has been faithful to open my eyes since I asked Him to show me the good in all things.

God of the day is very much Present in the long, lonely nights. If you can gather the strength, get up and find a window. Gaze at the stars, and God will feel closer. Experience His greatness.

This has often been my way of getting life back into perspective, but the other night, I couldn’t see the stars when I looked for them. They were hidden completely by clouds… feeling discouraged, “God, why clouds tonight? I needed to see the stars!”

Well, He didn’t change the view in the sky… but I was suddenly impressed by the fact that when those clouds blow away, the stars will still be there. That even in the moments I can’t see them, they are each in their divinely appointed place.

And God whispered to me, that even when clouds of disappointment hide the good in my story, it is there. As He planned it. And when the clouds disappear, I will see it.

That night, I learned more by not seeing the stars than if I had seen them. But I was glad to be comforted by their beauty again tonight.

I used to fear being awake in the night, because of all the ways the enemy tries to get me down.

But realizing that God is also present in the night, always close to me and with me, helps immensely.

So, these hours must have some good use, or God wouldn’t ask me to live through them. No moment in our stories is intended to be wasted time, so what good purpose does God want me to accomplish at 4 am? Well, I have lots of time to think about it, and He did reveal a few good things to me.

When I’m utterly tired, my heart is more open. More ready to listen to Him, too exhausted to hold on to any stubbornness. I’m finding that the Bible speaks to me in deeper, more personal ways in the wee hours than when I am awake, choosing how to apply it.

Prayer is also a closer communion than in the day, because between 12 and 5, there’s just me and God. No schedule to rush off to. No distractions. Just the hours to pass while waiting for the gift of sleep… and meanwhile, enjoying the gift of closeness to God.

We do need physical rest to function, but God has promised to always provide what we need.

I’m learning that His definition of my needs doesn’t always match mine. I want 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep and a clear mind…

He gives me 3 hours and then provides His strength to lean on. Somehow, I make it through the day. He always provides.

God’s ideal level for me to function at also looks different than mine sometimes. I have a life to live, a class to teach, a calendar full of events…

And sometimes, less sleep is what it takes to get me to slow down. To take a rest. Or worse, I’m forced to ask others for help. Admitting when I’m not able to manage everything… that takes great effort and humility.

It turns out, if I can wrestle down the “I’m perfectly fine” attitude and humble myself to accepting the help of others, people are generally more sympathetic than judgemental. God provides those people to be there, because He knows I will need them.

God provides what we need. Not always in the way we imagine, but He Who knows our needs best, can best provide for them.

So, dear friend… look to the skies.

Watch the stars, or if it’s cloudy, rest in the knowledge that they are there. Just as surely as God is with you even though you can’t see Him, and there’s good in this experience though it’s still veiled by clouds.

While you’re waiting for morning, enjoy the gift of communing with God. Your tiredness allows you to be weak enough to surrender to Him.

Less, “why, God? I thought…” And more “okay, God. Your way is best.”

God isn’t forgetting about you, awake in your bed while the world is asleep. He sees. He’s listening to your prayers, and He will speak to you if you listen.

Night can be a very precious time, if we just focus our eyes on God.

And my dear friend, hold on. The sun will rise.

For the Greater Good

Published on by Jackie1 Comment

As I enter the garden this night, it appears peaceful and still. But within, a figure kneels on the ground in a desperate posture, shaking, groaning, fists clenched tightly… In the faint moonlight, I see His lips are moving. Straining to listen, I hear Him say, “If it be Thy will, let this cup pass from me… nevertheless not my will, but Thine be done.”

It’s a gutteral cry, from the depths of an anguished soul… yet beautifully surrendered. His friends lie sleeping nearby, seemingly unconcerned by His agony… there He kneels alone, on the brink of torture and death, but trusting His Father’s will in it all.

Tomorrow is Good Friday, 2023. About 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ was the One described in the scene above, praying in Gethsemane as His disciples slept.

The solitude was shattered when Judas reappeared with an angry mob of Jewish leaders. The infamous betrayer. The rejection must have hurt Christ deeply… but not only that of Judas. The disciples who weren’t able to stay awake with Him in prayer… the Jewish leaders who should have been most excited about the Messiah being in their midst… and then, the whole human race as the crowd shouted, “Crucify Him!”

Why, when the truth was so obvious, could those in leadership not see it? Ordinary people heard and believed that Christ was the Promised One. But those who had studied the prophecies about Him the most would not. They had expected a king who would fulfill their wishes. Jesus came as a servant, yet convicted them of their sins. They could not accept that their interpretation of the scriptures had been wrong, so they would not accept Him. In their attempt to keep their image intact, they rejected the Truth.

And Jesus, Truth Himself, was silent on trial before them. He did not defend Himself or fight. He allowed them to push their false view of Him – a blasphemer of God, when in fact, He WAS God’s own Son – until they killed Him.

Why? He knew Who He was. Why did He give up so easily?

But looking back farther still…

Angels announced His birth and the shepherds testified of all they saw and heard.

A twelve year old boy astonished the scribes with His knowledge.

A Man was baptized, and a Voice was heard. “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I Am well pleased.”

Sermons were preached. Miracles were done. People were healed. The dead were raised.

The invitation was clear. “Come unto Me and I will give You rest.“

He declared His Identity publicly. “I and my Father are One.” “No man cometh unto the Father but by Me.”

He didn’t go to the grave without making a ripple. He thoroughly showed and stated the message of Truth first… until He didn’t only make ripples, He created turbulent waves. And the more clearly He presented the Truth, the more adamantly it was rejected. He knew when the time had come to be silent. He knew His words were being wasted on an audience who had already determined not to listen with open minds and hearts.

God also knew that a greater victory could be won by stepping back from the heated debates in the temple… the time had come to lay it down.

So although it all appears so wrong that Jesus died… so much like Satan’s will was in control… God’s hand was over it all. It was His will that Jesus stopped telling them His message. He was silent in Pilate’s hall, and didn’t protest as they nailed Him to the cross. He suffered the injustice… the shame… the rejection…

and by all appearances, the Truth died.

Death had won.

But what an amazing victory when the grave was empty on the third day!

God allowed Satan that brief taste of victory.

Only because God saw the greater good.

Satan’s attempt to defeat Jesus really backfired.

Jesus died, yes. And because of His death, through the blood of the Perfect Sacrifice, salvation was made freely accessible to all humanity through the simple & sacred avenue of prayer!

The resurrection power would not exist, had there not been a death prior.

And so it is in all of our life circumstances. This world holds evil. Satan attacks us. Causes us pain. But God is always in control! God Alone sees the full picture which contains the greater good in every situation.

God will never allow Satan to do anything that will not lead to our greater good.

Our loving, all wise Father has a resurrection planned to follow every death He allows.

This Easter, trust Him with everything that seems to be dead in your life. He will bring a resurrection if you remain in Him… the dark grave which your crushed dreams lie in today has potentional to be the womb which will birth greater things than you can imagine!

No, the exact things you desired might not be granted in this life. What emerges from a monarch chrysalis is completely different than the worm that went into it… but the butterfly is far more beautiful. On the other hand, the last chapter of Job tells of God restoring the things that were lost, in greater abundance.

Regardless of how it may look, there will be a resurrection for the death of your dreams. Hold on to faith in Jesus, and I know you will love His choice for you.

Because when you let Him walk with you through the pain, you will always emerge more beautiful. He pours Himself into the cracks of every broken heart that is yielded to His will. And some sweet day, by God’s grace…

you will reach perfection when you pass through your physical death and awake in a complete resurrection.

Never again to be harmed by evil. Death forever conquered…

And oh, what a Glorious Morning!

That’s… Me.

Published on by JackieLeave a comment

There’s a very dear, familiar-to-me book packed cover to cover with true stories of great men and women.

I’ve been told these stories from my early childhood years, read them many times. I know the content well… or so I thought.

I’m referring to the Bible, and the stories I have in mind are those of Moses and the Israelites, Jonah, and Peter, just to mention a few.

Moses was a great leader. God called him to an enormous task and included him as a key player in an incredible exodus.

Before that happened, though, Moses tried to avoid the role he was being given. He claimed that due to his speech impediment, he wasn’t qualified as the right man for the job.

“Ummm… Moses? Don’t you think you’re missing something? God created you with that unique challenge. He knew about it when he asked you to take on this assignment. Shouldn’t you just trust Him to take care of those details?”

(God did have a plan in mind, in case you’re wondering. He assigned Aaron to be Moses’ assistant.)

But something about this seems familiar… those words, “God, I can’t do this. I’m too weak. You’ve chosen the wrong person…”

I have been Moses.

Will I also be like Moses in rising to the task and trusting God to bring things together?

The concept of that many slaves escaping Egypt’s power – all at one time – seemed absurd. Apparently not to God, though, and He proved that nothing is too great for Him.

They escaped. It’s easy to think that the Israelites had it all made… God parted the Red Sea for them, after all! Trusting God must’ve come naturally for them after that.

If only God would send us a dramatic, visible sign… then surely it wouldn’t be so hard to rest in trust.

But that’s not how the story goes. No, when Moses came down from 40 days on the mountain with God, the people had built an idol. They needed something they could see and feel – apparently one demonstration of God’s sure power and existence was not enough.

I’ve been just like the Israelites. Demanding a sign, and even receiving one at times… but trust is an internal heart issue. It should not depend on physical proof, because God is not a physical being. He is spiritual, and so must be my faith.

Then there’s Jonah. It’s easy enough to judge him… running blatantly from his calling. His disobedience created a storm for those with him to suffer through.

“Jonah, that was selfish and cowardly. Why didn’t you surrender sooner?”

But wait… I’m Jonah.

That’s right – that’s been me.

How often do I fight surrender in fear, and cause those around me to navigate storms unnecessarily? All because I’m refusing to trust God, lay aside my fears, and walk in the place He is asking me to fill.

In the New Testament, there’s Peter.

We all know Peter. Confident, courageous Peter. Now there are some adjectives I’d like to apply to myself!

But, though I’m a lot like Peter, it’s not those character traits I’m carrying.

Remember the doubting, denying, Peter?

Well, I’ve been Peter. Confident at first…

“Sure, Lord! I’ll walk on the water with you! Wherever you call me – I’m not afraid of any storm if You’re there!”

Then doubting.

“These waves really are higher than I expected…”

and with that, I start sinking.

“Peter, why did you even look at the waves? Taking your eyes off of the One Who called you out there was sure to bring you trouble. What happened to your confident trust that you had when you first stepped out of the boat?”

… yes indeed. What happened to my trust?

I’ve been Peter, and not as a reflection of his better points.

That’s been me, jumping over the side of the boat, striding over the waves with ease, glancing down to see what size of storm I’m gliding through… and promptly sinking.

There’s One character in the Bible Who I can’t find any fault in.

He is the character I desire to be most like, yet I resemble Him the least.

Thankfully He is able to help me become more like Him…

His name is Jesus.

With my focus on Him, I can fight through.

By God’s grace, He will make me a Red Sea crossing Moses, and a wilderness surviving, Canaan entering Israelite.

If I’m willing to be humbled, He can use me, a whale spittle covered Jonah, as His servant.

When I refocus my sight on Him, He will lift me up out of the waves. He will walk with me through the storm and guide me to the shore. He can transform me from a doubting, sinking, mortal, into a courageous worker, just as He did Peter.

Above all, if I keep my focus on Him, He will make me more and more like Himself.

So that I can be Jesus to others.