A Day in the Life…

Have I mentioned lately that I love teaching?

Sometimes I forget that I do.

It’s easy to get into the routine, get used to the chaos, and start to take the familiarity of school life for granted.

But once in awhile, I remember to sit back and look at my day as though I’m a new teacher again, and I’m amazed at all the things that happen in a day.

When they hired me nearly five years to be a teacher, I naively expected I would study academic matters and find avenues to pass on that knowledge to children. Which I do, every day.

But this is Wednesday morning, and much has already happened beyond academics.

Before the 9:00 bell rang, the peace at my desk was disturbed by the sound of running feet past my door. Several pairs of running feet. I hoped none of my students would do that…? Maybe someone was visiting school with little children?

A moment later, the sound started back my direction. And unfortunately, when I looked toward the door, three very familiar looking coats ran by. I knew those coats… because I spend recess with those coats every day. The wearers of those coats were running, and the wearers of those coats happen to be… my students.

And just like last week on hot lunch day, I thought of my favourite quote for moments like these:

“As soon as you say “My child would never!” Here they come nevering like they never nevered before.”

(Last week there was jello served for hot lunch, which is always a favourite. Some children really like jello, that’s all. And I felt a little more Mom than Teacher as I gave a short spiel about respect, and self-control, and common sense, all in regards to the regulating of jello consumption.)

Thankfully the running incident was corrected with little drama – they’re a respectful, sweet bunch of children. It just so happened that they were playing tag and the game accidently moved into the building. They seemed to think it made perfect sense. And I remember in awe – children think differently.

Teachers correct, encourage, guide, and apparently, give neck massages during recess to the little girl who says she can’t turn her head. You never know what you’ll hear when you answer a raised hand in class, and I’m used to the random moments. However, it’s not every day I hear, “Could you please give me a shoulder massage? It hurts.”

That’s not the most astounding thing I heard this week.

Yesterday, they were discussing CPR at lunch. (Seeing that in type makes me realize – that’s not a typical meal conversation. Unless you’re nine, apparently.)

Through the conversation, a few comments stood out to me:

“Wait, you can die and come back to life? Like, you’d actually see Jesus and heaven but still come back?”

“Oh yeah, that happens to some people.”

“Well, they just are unconcious. Like, they almost die.”

“Wow! I didn’t know that can happen!”

At this point, from his reclined position, around a mouthful of cheetos, a student inserts “I saw Jesus once.”

Instant silence. Most of the students look shocked.

But the girl next to Mr. Cheetos calmly replies, “Really? That’s cool. Did you die once or what?”

Everyone starts panicking that their classmate might’ve had a near death experience that they never heard about.

Miss Calm reminds them that it doesn’t matter, he’s alive and well now. (and casually munching his lunch while everyone else freaks out.)

Apparently he decided there had been enough chaos and paused to say, “Like, it wasn’t the real Jesus that I saw. I saw a picture of Him. It might not even be how He looks, I don’t know. But – I kinda saw Him.”

Once again, I internally shake my head and wonder how kids minds function so differently than adults. It’s something I find fascinating every day; I feel so blessed to have such a front seat view of the antics of God’s small people.

I totally know why Jesus told His followers to become as little children.

When you look past the mischief, the random questions, the seeming lack of common sense – you realize they’re beautifully inquisitive.

They want to learn everything about their world.

They aren’t bound by the restrictions of peer pressure and maintaining an image.

They’re honest. (This is not always entirely a good thing, however they are without question, honest.)

They’re willing to explore, investigate, and learn.

They take risks.

They’re quite fearless, which may or may not cause my blood pressure to spike depending what they attempt. (Class, I do not want to try explaining this to your parents if someone gets hurt while you attempt this…)

But with all these traits, they are fluid, moldable, teachable.

Which is exactly what we need to be for God to work His purposes through us.

Humble enough to be willing to learn so that He can mold us into servants, equipped to serve in His kingdom.

“I Want to Go Across”

Surrounded by the playful shouts of running children, standing in the sunshine on the school playground, I inhaled slowly.

Exhaled.

Willed myself to forget my exhaustion and inner pain, and focus on the idyllic scene all around me.

Pain doesn’t disappear at command, apparently.

But joy can be sought and found, which I have discovered to be an effective method in getting through difficult times.

So once again, I determined to shift the focus from coping with these emotions, to seeking a reason to smile.

(Sometimes, we do have to walk through the messiness in our hearts. But there are times and places, like at school when you’re the teacher, that you need to be able to effectively distract yourself so that you can function well in your role.)

I turned slowly and took in everything… the area filled with running children, the delighted shrieks and giggles coming from the swings, the little boys so intensely committed to their baseball game…

Amid all the action, I noticed a child standing not far behind me.

All by herself, a post of the playground nearly hid her from my sight.

I stepped toward her, and the wispy, blonde ponytailed head peeked out.

Blue eyes held my gaze with a reproachful stare.

“How’s your day in kindergarten been so far?” I began.

“Good!” She replied instantly.

Hmmm. Okay, but she’s not playing with the others and doesn’t look too happy about something… I decided to try another tactic.

“Would you like to play with the others?”

Very sweetly, but with 5 year old confidence, she answered in the negative.

“Are you enjoying your recess, just relaxing here?”

“No.”

O-Kay! This time, her negative answer held an accusing tone.

“I’m sorry to hear that – can you tell me why?”

Again, Miss Tiny’s confident voice sounded accusing. A little arm stretched up and pointed at the swinging rings on the playset as she declared, “I want to go across.”

“I’ve been waiting,” she added. “And no one came to help me.”

I patiently apologized, assured her I would be glad to help, now that I knew she wanted to go across.

In my mind, I thought, “And this is why I’m not a kindergarten teacher. Like – how long would she have waited if I hadn’t seen her there? Here I’m feeling terrible for not noticing sooner, yet she could have told me!”

As she beamed down at me while I guided her from one ring to the next, I was still exasperated and amused inside. May God bless all kindergarten teachers with wisdom to read the minds of their students… and understand without being told when they “want to go across.”

Suddenly, it was like God turned the lights on and revealed the purpose for this little exchange. Just like that, I saw myself.

Timidly standing at the bottom of the steep mountain range, stubbornly refusing to ask anyone for help.

Just waiting.

Wondering where God is, and when He’s going to show up to help me navigate this.

Sure, He knows what I need and can read my thoughts before I tell Him. But even when I can predict what a student needs by the desparate jabbing of their hand in the air, I still appreciate when they use their communication skills to tell me. Does God not desire me to do the same?

His Father-Heart wants connection with me, and that is formed when I speak to Him in prayer.

He desires my expression of trust in coming to Him and saying, “I can’t do this alone… I need Your help.”

He loves when I acknowledge Him for Who He is, and admit that I’m at the end of myself.

I set the little girl safely on the platform after helping her across, and as she runs off to play, I smile at the retreating ponytail that bounces with her steps.

A little child shall lead them…

I returned to the place I stood before, no longer hugging myself so tightly as if trying to hold my fragile heart together.

It’s time to stop staring at the mountain and wondering how to get over it.

I’m done pacing in circles at the foot of it, asking why God hasn’t taken it away.

That simple exchange at recess was designed by a Divine Hand to show me what I need to do…

I stretched out my hands and whispered,

“God, I want to go across.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell You sooner, and that I just kept asking You why You haven’t come to go up the mountain with me. You’ve been here waiting to start the climb, just patiently waiting until I humble myself to acknowledge my need.

So here I am now, God. I know I’m too weak to climb this by myself. Will You help me?

I want to go across.”