Author: Jackie

I’m settling in for a relaxing weekend at home after two weekends away.

So instead of sleeping as I should be, I’m absorbing what a wonderful feeling it is to be in my own bed on a weekend.

Not because my travels weren’t enjoyable, but rather, because home is a great place to sit still, and let my thoughts flow,  and bask in the goodness of God.

Two weeks ago, I spent a few days with a long time friend and picked up just where we’d left off.

She’s like a big sister to me, so when she said to make myself at home, I obeyed her as younger sisters should… and proceeded to make pizza for supper in her kitchen. 

(before you think I’m a terrible houseguest to take over like that, let me clarify – we go way back. And she was delighted!)

My own horizons were expanded as she led me on a tour of her northern world, and I was delighted to see the sights and meet the people that make up her world for this season of life.

I flew home to a whirlwind of a week, cherishing the moments with my students after missing them terribly in my time off school, finishing report cards, and leaving right after school on Friday.

Off to the people in my second home for a weekend of connecting with another soul sister, reaching out to a homeless community with our friends, and listening to a mission choir sing about our Anabaptist heritage in a Catholic cathedral.

Singing Faith of our Fathers as a congregational hymn in that setting, after sharing the message of God’s truth with the lost and hopeless all afternoon, impacted my heart in such a poignant way.

There is no way to capture it all in words…

But there is an overflowing peace saturating my heart.

In all the unknowns my life holds, I know with certainty that God is faithful.

Life with Him may not always be this beautiful, and He is good even when life doesn’t seem to be, but right now, I just have so much to thank Him for.

Friends near and far.

The kind of friends who hash out life until late night hours, because what is sleep when you need to have a good heart-to- heart?!

The same friends who will pray for me and with me in all the things… Christian friends to walk through this life with me keep me inspired on the journey.

There are still unknowns ahead of me, and I think it’s to be expected that there always will be, but God has shown me so many of His gifts lately.

Life doesn’t need to be filled with dramatic signs and wonders to know that God is in my story…

If I view life through a lens of faith, I can see He’s been blessing me in so many simple, precious ways lately.

And my heart is content.

So for all that I know, for all that He’s shown, and for the fact that He’s holding all the unknowns…

I am deeply grateful to my Father.

And my cup is overflowing with joy.

Humanity in all forms flows around me here in the busy Calgary airport, where I sit reflecting on my weekend.

Enjoying a beautiful view of the Rockies.

Eating Chinese food (one of the many perks to large airports… actually having a good food court!)

Waiting on my connecting flight.

And yes, forgive me, observing people.

I’m meeting a few other followers of Jesus…

Praying for the hurting souls going by as I hear the fragmented snatches of their life stories…

Reading hopelessness in so many eyes.

I think back to a comment that was made in the Sunday school discussion at the church I visited on Sunday.

“We are all God’s children,” she said, “it’s just that some people don’t know yet who they are. They need us to break down the walls, see them as His just like ourselves, and introduce them to Jesus. They need to know where they belong.”

Spending so much time in crowded airports this weekend has given me hours of time to decide what to do with.

Is a four hour layover simply “time to kill?”

Time to sleep? (Considering the late – that is, wee hours early- hour I’m expected to arrive home, yes, some of that layover was for sleeping)

Time to simply relax? Me-time?

It could be fully spent sleeping, shopping, indulging at various cafes, or even scrolling.

Yet my Father instructs me clearly in Ephesians 5 that I should be “redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.”

The central purpose of Christ’s ministry on earth was to make a way to draw all of humanity to Himself.

If He was willing to die for that cause, it’s clear what His will is. He wants us all to come to Him.

With such a clear message, how then can I not spend this time praying for eyes to see each opportunity to reach out? Courage to seize the opportunities as they appear? And wisdom to speak in each moment I am called to speak?

I know that God provides all these needs, because He has before, He is answering today, and He always will… if I simply show my willingness by asking Him to work through me.

It might seem futile or insignificant, but I know that God sees what I don’t see.

If my words and actions are directed by the One Who knows the needs of each heart, the slightest interaction is probably more important than I am aware of.

And even if I feel that a few simple conversations aren’t enough to combat the evil and brokenness that is rampant in a Godless society, no one here is too much for God to redeem.

No one is too lost for Him to seek out and find.

No one is too far away to be unworthy of His love…

Because we are all His.

Lord, convict me to carry Your Truth, Your Light, and Your Love wherever I go… make my broken self a useful instrument in Your perfect hand. Give me the courage to share the truth of all our identity to those who are searching for the place where they belong!

*this post got missed in my old drafts for some reason. It was written last October, but if the chaos described is relatable to you now, maybe God meant this one to wait for you… to inspire you today. ♡

“Someday, I’ll invest more time in my blog,” I assure myself. “When life slows down enough that I have time to write.”

That’s why I post so rarely.

Not only because life doesn’t slow down, as you might be guessing.

But also, because the rare day that does proceed in a calm, leisurely manner holds very little that can be creatively rephrased into a blog post.

Yes, those days are a gift. A time to worship, to praise God, to inhale His grace and exhale in peace. And I can and do write about those times.

But when I read only about others’ calm days, it’s hard to be inspired when the average chaos that fills most of my days is nothing like that ideal day that just flows.

But maybe, God allows our lives to be full so we need to put in effort to seek Him.

Maybe He calls us out of the mundane to find Him, constant as ever in the chaos.

Could it be that God can show His sufficiency best in the face of a long list of responsibilities?

It would be so nice to feel less frazzled in class. To have time to answer every whimsical thought that arises, whether on topic or not.

Yet if I wouldn’t have a few too many things to fit into a day, would I be prompted to check my values and priorities as often?

In the swirling chaos that was today, I took time to explain why King Asa was not a Christian, even though he was a good man who obeyed God. (To be a follower of Christ wasn’t possible until Christ actually came… Asa lived a good while before the New Testament.)

We talked about idol worship, and ways to crush the idols in our lives.

I learned that some of my students’ older siblings are on their phones a lot, and idolism is suspected by my sixth graders.

I taught independence, encouraging them to use their own judgement about what’s appropriate to write in a story for school and what isn’t.

In the madness that was 23 students and 23 math lessons to check, return, correct, check, and return again… In the repetition of hearing the books of the New Testament recited 23 times… In the never ending swirl of books being returned to have corrections marked, and just as quickly leaving my desk to be claimed by their owners… In all the waving hands and eager eyes (either pleading for help or sparkling with mischief, but definitely needing as answer this instant)…

God was in today. God was in my classroom. God was in me, making it possible to teach the class.

And if I let the chaos blind me, if I allow myself to be caught up in the swirl of life’s responsibilities, I will lose sight of God in my story.

But He never leaves – and He calls me into these busy seasons so that I learn to seek Him persistently. Diligently. And confidently, knowing He is in my today.

So when I paused to prioritize those questions – I met my Father’s smile of approval. He cares what I’m teaching these young hearts about Him – more than if the math lesson gets done in time for recess.

The swirl of chaos that is today becomes beautiful when God is in it.

And I can live with passion and purpose in my wild and wonderful life for Him!

Have you ever tried to study the Levitical Law?

Over the years, I’ve heard others share with glowing confidence that there’s so much to find there.

I secretly wondered what their special gift was that they could interpret this book that I’ve always struggled with.

I’ve never done an in depth study of the book, but I’ve opened my Bible, stumbled through detailed accounts of sacrificing various things, and struggled to find any inspiration for today.

So last weekend, when I saw the Sunday school lesson, I inwardly groaned.

Introduction to Leviticus…

I knew it would be deep. A lot of types and figures of the salvation plan, but would I be able to apply it to today?

I reminded myself that the Word – the whole Word – is alive. Written by inspiration of God for our spiritual instruction.

And I prayed for God to reveal hidden truths to my heart, because I believed Leviticus must have life in it, even if I hadn’t found it yet.

I’m so humbled and grateful to say, God definitely heard my prayers and again as we prayed at the start of our class Sunday morning.

Our discussion flowed more than usual, so much that we didn’t get through the lesson, and I was genuinely inspired by the things we uncovered.

I found a lot more inspiring truth in Leviticus than I expected to… and was reminded of one that’s written elsewhere in the Bible.

If I’m willing to seek, God will show His message to my heart.

“Seek ye the Lord while He may be found, call ye upon Him while He is near…” Isaiah 55:6

Disclaimer: this should have been posted a few days ago, however, due to the chaos mentioned in the title, it had to wait until now. 😉

Ahhh, Christmas. The season of family gathered around the table, laughter and joy, children sweetly singing carols, and a mug of peppermint hot chocolate to warm your hands…

Gentle snow falls and frosty pink cheeks, Advent devotionals and soft Christmas music…

Celebrating the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, in a peaceful and joyful way, just like the night of His birth is remembered as a peaceful and joy filled occasion.

It would be nice to have a Christmas like the one I described above.

But I’m a teacher… I work in a school… and I spend most of December in a classroom with 23 children.

Excited, hyper, candy cane eating students.

There were program parts to memorize, Christmas cards to make for the retirement home near our school, Christmas artwork to finish and hang on the wall… and of course, reaching a place in our lessons that was a sensible place to stop for 2 weeks of Christmas break.

And there were candy canes.

Everywhere.

I warmly thanked the giver each time, and prepared myself to listen to candy cane wrappers all morning.

I hardly even heard them anymore by the last day… you can get used to anything.

I was frequently reminded of their presence in my classroom though. Wrappers on the floor, students on a sugar high, and papers stuck together with candy cane slime were all ways that kept me keenly aware of the season we’re in.

The program day came.

Dressed up children, with neatly combed hair, entered the school, looking every bit like a peaceful and joyful Christmas without a hint of chaos.

Not everything is as it appears.

The gifts were opened with a sense of urgency that had built up during the scavenger hunt to find them…

All the girls tested their new lotion, and the whole room pulsed with energy as the scent of Vanilla Bean Noel filled the air.

The boys calculated the distance from themselves to me with their new tape measures, cheerfully informing me it was 103″ as the end of the tape line bobbed perilously close to my nose.

Everything was hysterically funny during lunch, and nobody knew why.

Next, we played party games… boisterously, wildly, crazily. It was organized, they were good, things were just very energetic.

I peeked into the hall to see which classes were doing their program, trying to figure out how much time was left before our turn, and I heard my co teacher’s voice from down the hall.

“Angels, that is not a nice way to put your costumes. Please don’t throw them in a heap on the floor; come and put them neatly in the box.”

I grinned.

Apparently the angel choir had had enough of their role and were no longer acting the part.

My students were so keyed up I wondered how we’d ever accomplish 2 straight lines and file silently into the church to sing in 3 part harmony…

But they did. They had perfected their roles and carried them out beautifully, all traces of chaos gone as they sang “O, Children Come.”

“Where the Father’s grace has walked, O children come… Where you see the hurt and lost, O children come…”

Sometimes, in the craziness of the week, I wondered if I’m really teaching these children the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, we had devotions, and talked about the birth of Jesus, but our days were so full I wondered if Jesus would get forgotten in their excitement for the program and Christmas break. 

Desperately I inserted Jesus into conversations, paused our busy schedule to take time for prayer, discussed good topics that arose, and made sure I poured love into my students…

But no matter how much I cut out, some essential things still had to happen, and some was actually quite a lot. So, the chaos never totally left. It still swirled around every moment I carved out for stillness.

Now, directing them through their program, all of them calm and going through the routine they’d practiced, I realized that this isn’t what Jesus came for.

Jesus didn’t come to a world peace and joy, He came to bring peace and joy, because on our own, we don’t have it.

That night in the stable, with the angels singing and the shepherds worshipping, sounds beautifully calm.

Yet just hours before, Joseph was anxiously knocking on doors in Bethlehem, looking for a place for Mary to give birth to God’s Son. Not to mention the stress of journeying there to be taxed.

The days leading up to Christ’s birth weren’t peaceful and joyful, and He came anyway, right into the middle of the mess that is the world.

And still He comes today, into our chaotic lives, bringing peace and stillness into our hearts as we make room for Him.

The craziness can continue around us, but nothing can take away the calm within as we go through this Advent season.

Jesus has come…

Jesus brings us joy…

And as we carry the light of His love within us this Christmas, everywhere we go and whatever we do, others will see Him shine.

True Light of Jesus, bring us Your peace…

Fill us with joy…

Shine on in our hearts…

Amen!

Cold, grey, November rain dripped down my windows all day, but the chill couldn’t extinguish the warm glow in my heart.

The rhythm of my classroom missed a few steps throughout the day, as tends to happen on rainy Mondays with sleepy and giggling students.

But my wax warmer was glowing brightly, the scent of “Silent Night” was in the air, all 23 of my people were at school today… and the preciousness of yesterday still warms my heart.

All through the moments of today, I know that God has been good… that He is still good.

Yesterday was a milestone in my life – a day to pause and reflect on how much God has done in my life, and brought me to places I never imagined.

After almost a year since I first visited there, I’m now a member of the church I’ve been attending – I can truly say I’m part of my church.

Yesterday, standing at the front of the now familiar building, I was nervous. Public speaking, I’ve learned, is highly intimidating to me.

Yet I felt such joy as I was received into membership… and knowing that the people in the benches have welcomed me to a place with them fueled my confidence as I shared a testimony of God’s faithfulness in my life.

Today, the sweet notes from friends grace my desk, reminding me that yesterday really did happen. And as I go about my week, I can look forward to communion with the congregation on Sunday.

There’s a beautiful thing about belonging…

About finding home…

Even though a few years ago I never imagined that I’d be here today, I can see now the ways God was preparing me for this place.

“As I look back on all of my days,

So many times, in so many ways

I have been blessed and all I can say is

God has been good.”

The path has been winding. I’m sure it will bend unexpectedly again throughout my life.

But, tonight I am contented, knowing that God’s faithfulness runs as a golden thread binding every change together.

With all my heart, I can say, God is still good!

Spending Canadian Thanksgiving weekend in America has been a fascinating experience.

When friends ask me what brought me to the area this weekend, and I explain that I have a long weekend so it worked well to travel, I get mixed reactions.

Some barely know that we have Thanksgiving at a different time. Others are intrigued that it’s on a Monday.

But my favourite response gave me the title for this post, although after we finished laughing, she did explain that she simply meant that Thanksgiving is meant to be a harvest time holiday. What are we doing having Thanksgiving day before the crops are in?

So I explained that the fields in the frigid north land of Canada are already being harvested.

We also established a mutual understanding that the coming of hockey season means as much to Canadians and the coming election does to Americans. And agreed that both can become too much of a passion for God’s people to engage in…

But after a great time of bantering about Canada vs America, I went home (well, to my home away from home, where I stay when I’m around here) and I pondered.

What do I have to be thankful for?

Of course, we all name the big things. God’s plan of salvation. My family. A Christian church family. A home. Food.  Material blessings.

But sometimes we overlook the joy that’s to be found in the little things when we dutifully dwell on the big, important items.

Don’t misunderstand me, I am truly grateful for all the above items I listed! And we should never take those things for granted. But I think it’s a good exercise in gratefulness to look for the beauty which God blesses us with through ordinary moments and things.

So this weekend, I’m grateful for the simple beauty of the Pennsylvania valley that has become my second home.

I’m grateful for beautiful parks to stroll through on sunlit pathways, with the decaying leaves laying on the ground in their vibrancy, as a quiet yet profound reminder that God creates beauty even in death and letting go…

I’m grateful for friends who sit on the little blue couch with me while we do foot soaks, never noticing or caring that the water has long grown cold, because our conversation was far too important to stop and get more hot water…

I’m grateful for shared laughter until my ribs ache.

I’m grateful that corn mazes come with maps, and also people in my group who could read the map.

I was grateful that when we lost our people in the maze, and had no map at all, that I had the opportunity to connect with a good friend as we calmly strolled all over the maze until we followed the moon to the exit.

It’s also good we thought of checking where the moon was in relation to the exit when we started. We may not be able to read maps, but we were capable of maintaining a sense of direction based off the moon. So, I’m grateful for the guiding light of the moon, and the guiding Light of Jesus that will guide me through the maze of life.

I am grateful for ice cream, the kind that comes in little pints. And I’m so glad to have a friend who will eat straight out of her own carton across from me while we catch up on everything that has happened, is happening, and even the things that might happen in our lives.

Life is rich, and beautiful, and full of simple joys to be grateful for…

Because above all, God is so, so good!

This week has been hectic.

I’m starting to grade things for report cards, prepping to leave for the weekend, and trying to invest in my youth group by actually showing up for things.

My classroom swallowed me the first week of school, and I’m starting to poke my head out into the real world again.

For my own sanity, I think that’s a good thing.

This week I realized I’ve been draining myself by teaching and giving so much – and it’s time to be renewed so I can actually be an effective teacher.

So this morning, with high ideals, I ambitiously packed my church clothes and food for my supper before heading off to school.

I hadn’t been to Wednesday evening prayer meeting since school started, but tonight would be the night.

My day started. However, when you add 23 gixth graders to your mental plan of what the day will be like, well… it can go off the rails.

Everything has a way of taking more time than you think it should, and by end of the day, I was rather exhausted.

I tackled lesson plans and checking with zeal.

A couple hours later, much closer to done but not finished, I looked at the clock. 15 minutes until I had to leave for church.

And suddenly, I was exhausted.

Going to bed early would have felt so good…

But this time, I decided to stick to my plan.

Sleep would renew me physically, but sometimes the inspiration from Bible study with your church people is what you need to renew you spiritually.

The conversations with friends after the service reminded me I’m not alone in the world of teaching and serving others – we’re all filling different roles that God has called us to, and all of us feel weary sometimes.

Connecting with other people renews me emotionally and refreshes me mentally.

I’m still tired.

But I’m glad I went to prayer meeting tonight.

The spiritual, emotional, and mental renewal of doing something outside of work is sometimes as important as the physical renewal of sleep…

Maintaining myself in all these areas is a careful balance.

But balancing renewal is vital to effective service.

And now, I’m finished creating coherent thoughts for the day… I shall go to bed in search of some physical renewal before another day of teaching dawns.