A few days ago, I said goodbye to my first car and watched it being winched onto the back of a tow truck.

I’ve been scrolling autotrader, comparing prices and specs, admiring sleek sedans and expensive rims… and reminding myself of my budget.

Car shopping really is fun, I’ve discovered. It’s exciting to dream about what I’ll be driving.

Before I buy a new car though, I’m reflecting on the years with my first car, which my teenage self jokingly dubbed Belinda.

After many conversations in which my dad outlined the budget and I vetoed many cars I deemed “ugly,” we settled on the Nissan Sentra. I liked the tail lights and the fact that she was little.

I remember feeling so sophisticated that first Sunday as I stepped out of my new car at church, wearing heels of course. I had sponged Belinda until she shone for the occasion, and I was in my teenage Girl Boss prime.

That car zipped out of the highschool parking lot for Tim’s runs during lunch break, and strong, lasting friendships were formed.

We solved life issues inside her, planned our weddings, and helped eachother with homework assignments. There was nothing our girl squad, our cars, and maybe a frying pan couldn’t handle.

The first winter I had her, before she got snow tires, I spun circles on the fresh snow in the school parking lot. (And no, that is not something I’ve done in recent years, but it was a great after school stress reliever for a first year teacher.)

I loved winter driving (except when I couldn’t see). With a good set of snow tires, I drove with confidence and embraced the challenge of the early morning drive to work before the roads are cleared. Belinda’s bumper sent many powder drifts flying, and we never went off the road.

During the long, lonely weeks of covid lockdowns, I would take my dog through the Tim Horton’s drive through on Friday nights – just for a chance to go somewhere in my car. The growling sounds from the darkened interior of my Sentra were a little unexpected for the Tim’s staff, and I received many odd looks. Of course, my poodle always barked out the back window as we drove away.

In times of teenage drama, I used to jump into that car and drive to the trail near my house where I’d go for a walk and sort out my thoughts.

It was that car that everyone recognized as mine because of the huge, fluffy steering wheel inside – real sheep wool, dyed my favourite shade of blush.

There have been countless after youth chats until the wee hours with neighbourhood friends who I used to carpool with… I realize now that I had that car for awhile. Those chats are a distant memory and those friendships have faded with the changes of time.

In more recent years, those late night drives became a place to think, my own quiet time.

I know it’s just a car, but these memories linked to it are still precious to sift through.

She was a big part of my becoming an independent adult – that little Sentra was my step into freedom and adventure.

This past summer, Belinda faithfully drove to Tennessee, through the Smoky Mountains, and rolled steadily through it all.

Her last trip was my solo road trip, just a few weeks ago. I’m planning to go again soon and it feels odd that I won’t be taking Belinda, but a new car (if I get one in time, that is!)

That car has been rocked with laughter, it’s heard heart-to-heart conversations, it listened to my tears and rang with my singing.

I used glass writers to write my favourite inspirations on the mirror or other surfaces… the last one I put on the rearview mirror said “I do not journey alone, for Jesus is with me.”

Yes, she frequently needed repairs and many people say it was a problem car – which is true. But I loved my little Sentra.

I’m glad to know where I’m at, as I was tired of paying repair bills and wondering what would go wrong next. But still, nostalgia outweighed that relief as I unloaded my things from every nook and cranny, finding missing clothes in her trunk for the last time.

A friend of mine was trying to imagine me without a Sentra. We both wonder what that will be like.

But although it has been a huge part of my personality and life to create quirky memories and pursue adventure in that car, now that those times are over I see it clearly: I lived and left my girlhood in that car, and I’m not the same person anymore. (Thankfully!)

So as I ride into a new chapter of adult life, it seems fitting that I’ll have a new car to drive into the future.

It’s truly been a good ride, Belinda.

Now I’ll look forward to continuing the journey in Vivianne, Samantha, or Josephine, depending on the model I get!