And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are the called, according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 KJV

How often have I quoted this verse to comfort myself or others? When things get a little rough, it’s easier to put a band aid on the struggle. “It’ll work out for good.” And not spend much time thinking about it.

But when the pain runs deeper, the analysis of “Why?” automatically gains depth as well.

Why, God? Why did You not clear the pathway?

What was Your reason for allowing this experience in life?

What thread of good purpose can You possibly have woven into a story that became bathed in so many tears?

Sometimes, the weight of all those questions nearly consumes me.

Other days, the pain of them leaves me exhausted.

Either way, I was feeling drained and empty yesterday, too tired to even bother asking God my why questions.

I had promised to go out for coffee with a young friend that evening, and as the hour approached, I kept thinking I should cancel.

She needed someone to encourage her, I felt sure. I was equally convinced that my sleepless night & spent emotions had my mind completely empty of anything to offer.

But God kept nudging me to keep the agreement… so I did.

We talked for quite awhile. Somehow, after I made up my mind to be the best empty mentor possible, God took over.

Remarkably, I found things to give. Most of what I spoke was from recent experience… lessons I didn’t yet realize I had learned.

Some of the things I heard coming from my mouth were lessons I see myself learning through this. Still painful truths, and I’m sharing them as wisdom to encourage someone else?!

Maybe God knew I needed that evening as much as my friend. By listening to another’s struggles, I was moved to compassion and asked God to help me find anything I could possibly share as encouragement.

He chose to reveal truths from my most recent experience – she had no idea how recently I’d come face to face with most of the lessons I shared. That some of them settled into clarity for the first time, talking with her.

Inwardly, I rebel. Why am I asked to be a servant? What does life ever give back to me?

But… I’m not entitled to payouts from this life. I’m working for a greater Kingdom.

God used my pain to bless someone else. I’m still drained, but I have found a thread of worthwhile-ness in the story.

I knew in my heart all along that I’d redo it all. I’d go through every step of it again, for the joys, the richness, the personal growth my faith has been challenged to.

But the tears… where can the blessing be in those? I don’t cry easily.

I’m not comfortable crying except in privacy, yet others’ tears never intimidate me.

Sometimes, we need to break. We need to be completely broken – to exhausted to hold ourselves together.

I’m getting accustomed to the cracks in my heart – I think I will eventually learn to appreciate them.

For now, my own heartache runs through them. But they are new avenues for compassion.

I can empathize more deeply with those going through deep waters, only because God is keeping me afloat on my own wild ocean.

There are reasons interwoven in the story.

There will be manifold good appearing in place of these ruins, I am confident.

God allowed Job to be taken to an extremely low point… but read the last chapter of his story. Job ended up much better off than where he began!

With God’s help & by His grace alone, I can maintain my hold on my Rock.

So that some sweet day, some sweet how, I will rise up from this. See the beauty in it. There will be blessings for those around me, and heavenly blessings for myself… all if I allow God to use my brokenness to become avenues for giving.

“Strengthen me to serve, Lord, in joy or in grief. For it is in true servanthood that I am able to find passion and purpose for living. Thank You for writing good into every line of my story, and grant me the eyes of faith to see it revealed to my heart. Amen.”