The song in my heart changed course today.

There have been questions. Notes of fear playing in the melody. I tried to deny them… they have no place in the beautiful song I want to continue.

But today I had to face reality. There’s no hiding, there’s no changing it.

And to keep on singing now? I always sing. Only when life is really low do I find myself without a song on my lips.

Today was one of those times. There are moments when you need to just let yourself cry. Allow the song to fade out while you try to process what you’ve just learned.

As I drove home in the foggy dark, the weather matched my outlook. Bleak. I followed my usual route, completely numb. Drained. Spent and exhausted.

The tears started again as I parked my car. I sat there for a time, but I knew I had to go inside. Even when it feels like everything is caving in, time continues. Life continues, and needs to be lived.

I stepped out of the car, numb again, and started wearily for the house. No moon or stars shone… too cloudy. Yet there seemed to be a glow brightening the darkness, and I was comforted to know that the moon is always there. Even when clouds hide it.

I was nearly to the house when I realized I was softly singing. Slow, soft, and low… but my song had not been extinguished.

“Oh, God our Help in ages past…”

Yes, He’s had His hand over each of our lives from before we were born.

“Our hope for years to come.”

God has a plan, even in this, my heart whispered. Whispers of flickering faith are okay, too. Sometimes that’s all we can manage.

“Our Shelter from the stormy blast… and our eternal Home.”

My voice faltered on those words. I may have been very off key, and certainly it was not a performance worthy of any grand cathedral. But it was my heart whispering its song. From the depths of my souls anguish.

Whispering that no matter what, God will be there. God will be enough.

And when things are difficult, God is still with us. Whispering comfort through the fog… in the faintest moonlight, when my flame is just as faint, God still whispers peace.